If I had a grain of rice for every time someone told me they don’t like what they see in the mirror, I could solve world huger. The complaint goes something like this, “I’m doing the best I can, and I’ve made good progress. People say I look great, but I don’t see it.” I always tell them the same thing…the mirror lies.
After weight loss surgery, people can see objectively that progress is being made. The scale (which lies too!) is showing they weigh less. Their clothes are fitting very differently. They feel better than they have in years. They can walk up stairs and tie their shoes. But when they look in the mirror, all they see is the “old me.”
That destructive inner dialogue has to be addressed before you can see what everybody else sees. Some people can fight that fight alone. Some people need assistance. There is nothing wrong with needing help. You may need a personal trainer to help you whip your body into shape. Likewise, you may need a therapist to help you whip your mind into shape.
If you don’t know where to start, ask your doctor to refer you to someone who can help. Often, your physician knows many different professionals, and they can match your personality and needs with a specific therapist. Perhaps you would rather just try to slowly start seeing yourself as other see you.
This may be a long journey for you. This may be the first time you’ve tried to be kind to yourself and give yourself the benefit of the doubt. Try to see yourself through the eyes of another, because we don’t see what you see. Whatever you do, don’t listen to the mirror, because the mirror lies!